Healthy Loving Relationships….without the Valentine commercialisation!!
Once we get over that falling in love experience, an engaging, secure, love relationship can be an ongoing source of support and happiness. Good relationships strengthen all aspects of life: your health, your mind and your work.
However, if the relationship isn’t supportive, it can be a tremendous drain.
Relationships get better or worse depending on how much or how little we understand and invest in them.
These tips can help keep a healthy relationship strong, or repair trust and love:
Communicate what you feel and think
Invest in focused face-to-face time each day
Show affection through touching, holding hands, hugging, and kissing
When conflicts arise, be sure to listen to your partner
Keep the spark alive by exploring new activities together
Understanding love relationships
Human love has an evolutionary purpose. When we experience feeling loved our brain and nervous system become more relaxed and efficient and we feel happier and are healthier.
Feeling loved is nature’s antidote to stress. There is no quicker or more effective way to override too much stress and upset than positive face-to-face communication with someone that makes us feel understood, safe, and valued.
Falling in love is often an experience that seems to just happen to us but preserving that “falling in love” experience takes commitment and effort.
Given its rewards, though, it’s well worth the effort.
Preserving That “Falling I n Love” Experience
Here are some things neuroscience has taught us about preserving the “falling in love” experience perhaps for a lifetime:
#1 – Be willing to invest quality time, energy, and focus in your relationship. This may not be easy given the demands of work, career, parenting, and the need we all have for time to ourselves.
#2 – Failure to invest in the ones we love results not only in the loss of pleasure but in lost opportunities for health and overall well-being.
#3 – Communicate what you feel as well as what you think. Emotional communication is the language of love. When we receive positive emotional cues we feel safe and happy, and when we send positive emotional cues to others, they feel the same.
#4 – Don’t be afraid of disagreement – see it as an opportunity to grow the relationship. Some couples talk quietly, while others raise their voices and passionately disagree. The key is, do not be afraid of disagreement. Everyone needs to express things that bother them without fear of humiliation or retaliation.
#5 – Enrich your relationship with outside interests. No one person can meet all of our needs and expecting too much from that one person can put a lot of unhealthy pressure on a relationship. Bringing positive energy from family, friends, and outside interests into a relationship will stimulate and enrich it.